Wow, what a waste of time.
Before you start reading, this post is going to be mostly negative, so if you don’t want to read something negative, go away.
First off, I feel bad because my good friend Johnny wanted to go open mic-ing tonight with me, but I forgot to text him that I was going. I just remembered a few minutes ago.
Two, I hate trying to play to crowds that have certain expectations, because my act gives the appearance of immediately coming short. You can’t have expectations in comedy, because when you expect laughter, it never comes. Laughter comes from things that aren’t expected.
Three, don’t be impatient for the laughs to come. The more impatient you get with me, the less interested I am in telling you a joke, because it puts pressure on the telling of the joke, which will flatten it. Also, many jokes take patience to understand, so if you’re impatient, it’s almost pointless to even bother telling you a joke, since you won’t get it anyway.
I went to Po Boyz. It seemed weird from the start. It was. Hardly anyone was paying attention to the comics. I got up, and they paid attention, but they couldn’t seem to figure out what they were supposed to do. One person said they wanted to laugh, but then just when I was about to go into it, another said they wanted to get drunk and die. They couldn’t decide between the two. No one could decide. Other options came out too. What a mess. Finally they got to wanting to laugh. I tell a joke. I’ve used it lots of times before, I know it works. I guess they couldn’t tell I was actually telling a joke though and thought I was just talking, so then they got mad and started trying to boss me around, telling me what to do. Don’t expect me to tell jokes to people that come in all serious and don’t want to play my little game, because people like that are never any fun, and I’m not that funny when I can’t have fun with the crowd.
To my surprise even the boxing Donkey was a downer tonight. A lot of other comics went to it, probably after reading in my blog how good it was, so I had to wait around to get on, and by that time most of the crowd had left. The people that were left were all like sub-culture nerds, making up fairy tales and saying they wanted to f*ck actor Slim Pickens, and they didn’t even know who he was. Biggest waste of an open mic run in a while, at least for me.