July 31, 2012

Pulled Over: By The Cops

Tonight I got pulled over, well, I had just pulled over to begin with because I thought they were looking for someone and I wanted to help out. Instead, they took more interest in me and wanted to check out both my license, and my passengers license. Wow. Normally I like the cops but these guys were dicks and profiled my Cadillac. They didn’t even bother to ask me about the guy in the red Honda I told them about that was probably wasted. This was on the way home from the Boxing Donkey open mic. I took Giulianna with me.

So back to the comedy. First we went to Po Boyz. Hadn’t been in a while. Small crowd, but it was fun. Nice and intimate. First they wanted to play ping pong and pool, but then they changed it to wanting to hear jokes. I told them some jokes and a line from my upcoming hip hop song, “I like the way them pants hold a butt.”

Then we went to the Boxing Donkey. Sam didn’t feel too good. I didn’t feel bad for him when I learned why. I like Sam, but thats what you get man. He had Michael Calvin host it. A black host at a Roseville open mic. They didn’t seem to mind. The only thing bad was a lot of comics got really drunk, and the crowd had some pretty rowdy types in it. A bunch of them got kicked out for talking smack. So I’m up there, and the comics said they wanna screw and some other stupid stuff. Thanks guys. What clever lines did you think I was gonna have for that? I don’t do that. Finally some people got around to saying they want to hear a joke. But then these two drunk women had come in. One said she’d been wanting to laugh the whole time, but I hadn’t said anything funny. I said she should have told me earlier. Later I realized, why would I want to make her laugh? I only want to make nice people laugh.

I don’t want to finish this post without mentioning that somehow, probably from an angel, I got nominated to be the 2012 Best Person To Make You Laugh in the Sacramento News & Review. Voting starts August 2nd. It’d be cool to win, but I don’t know if I have enough constituents.