June 7, 2013


I was born in a small suburb of Southern California called Granada Hills. While living there, I remember I would chase the family dogs around my parents’ cars, build wagon trains, and pillow forts for my little sister.

When I was four, the family moved to Northern California. There I attended school and met a mostly life-long friend. In junior high school I developed a fascination with canoes, and also learned that I enjoyed performing in the class plays that we did.

One time in 8th grade I had a wallet chain which I had fashioned from one of those tiny ball chains that you can get. I didn’t have a wallet, all I had was a paper clip in my pocket. It would often come out, and one day a girl noticed it was out and told me. I responded by saying I would probably fix it later. I attribute this moment to the beginning of my comedy career.

In high school I carried on my “unique” fashion sense by switching to other types of chains. I tried plastic ones with huge links, and really long metal ones. Plus, I had a real wallet by then. I complimented this by wearing all kinds of different hats, including several Mad Hatter style hats, The Cat in the Hat style hats, and a bunch of others. Other students would often refer to me as the Mad Hatter. I also got somewhat fat, weighing about 245 pounds in my junior year. My main interests in high school were math (until I tried pre-calc), computers, making websites, and making videos. For some reason I didn’t find myself that interested in the women there, probably assuming that they were too normal and average for me.

I performed stand-up comedy in high school once. I said a few things that I shouldn’t have said – in fact I regretted saying them immediately – and got suspended for three days. It was just one of those things where you’re young, hanging out with some friends, and they’re like, “oh you should say this” and you’re like “yeah!” and without even giving it a second thought, you say it in front of the whole school. So dumb.

Aside from that, I once had this idea to make a movie about a guy who reads his whole life out of a book. Everything he says or does is written in the book. So then since people already knew I was special and it didn’t matter, I would walk around during lunch and pretend to read everything I said off of a piece of paper. I thought it was hilarious. It seemed like some other people did too, but I don’t really know. Anyway, that was how I performed my routine that I did when I got suspended too. Actually, I did get another chance to do a stand-up routine in high school, but it sucked and isn’t really worth mentioning.

I’ll add more to this later.