October 30, 2013

Old Time Bar Ick

I went to this open mic/competition thing tonight at the old time bar. Someone has to go on last, but it always sucks when it has to be you. It was me. Going on last doesn’t equal headlining. Not only that, but the sound system sucked balls. Maybe that’s what was wrong with it: someone’s testicles got stuck in the amp. No wonder it couldn’t amplify the high frequencies. Gotta cut the balls off. I saw a wifi router on the ceiling, but no one who worked there knew the password. I should have just reset that shit.

I didn’t have my camera so I should have just left anyway, since it broke my streak of taping every set. It didn’t matter though. I got two jokes in and these heckler cunts started in telling me they were telling my jokes to each other. I asked them why and they wouldn’t say, so I kept on them for the rest of the time to tell me why. I told them I was a healer. This bitch was like, “you’re not funny.” No shit, I’m a healer not a comedian. That’s what they needed more. I’m whatever the crowd needs me to be. A heckler is like a wart on a crowd. You can’t tell your jokes because this wart keeps distracting you. You have to heal the wart.

This place sucked in a lot of ways. The sound system didn’t work, they didn’t know their own wi-fi password, the bathroom was out of paper towels, they made me go last, I didn’t win the competition, and I didn’t think it would be so long since it was shorter than shit last time I was there. So I hadn’t eaten yet and I had to wait around to go on last, so I got white people problems hungry. Oh yeah and then I missed out on the Pine Cove competition and On the Y karaoke.

On the plus side, I got a connection for a guest set next week, and I got to try drinking orange juice from concentrate mixed with horseradish.

October 29, 2013

Yuba/Sutter Show

Yesterday, during the day, I got to do a show. It was at Laughs Unlimited during the day. It started at 1 PM. PM. So, since that’s on the other side of town from me, about 2.5 miles away, I decided to go to the farmers market first and get some groceries. Then I went […]

October 27, 2013

We Did a Rejects Show Close to Halloween

We did the Rejects again at the Darkroom and made a profit for the second time. It wasn’t much, but when you consider that it costs $250 to rent the place, it makes me happy. I was even happier when we sold three shirts at the end of the show. We had all the Rejects […]

October 25, 2013

Jazz and Jokers Doesn’t Charge

There’s this new club called Jazz and Jokers. I went there for their Wednesday open mic. I did a set, but there was no crowd. I don’t think it’s worth mentioning. I video tapped but I’m not going to put it on. The comics feel like the place needs to promote. Obviously the place thinks […]

October 22, 2013


Roxanne, you don’t have to run the red light, you’ve got plenty of time… I almost ran a red light tonight. Not sure why. It looked like additional lights for the next red light that wasn’t that much farther? Maybe. I don’t know. Anyway, before that I did two sets. First I did the Scramble […]

October 21, 2013

I Found A New Trail

Today I ran by the river and I found a new trail to run on that was pretty dope. I guess it had always been there and I never knew. Anyway, that doesn’t have anything to with comedy. Tonight I went to The Comedy Spot Scramble and then On The Y. At the Scramble I […]

October 19, 2013

Lockdown Monster

I got to do a set at the Lockdown Brewery again tonight. It took them forever to figure out what they wanted to do. They had like six options at first, finally someone said they wanted to hear some jokes. I told the bathroom series I’m working on right now. Then I told the pirex […]

October 17, 2013

Fosters Freeze

Tonight I did a set at this place called Foster’s. It’s a bar. Not a Foster’s Freeze. I went on third. It was great, they wanted to laugh right away. They liked a lot of my jokes, even ones I was trying out, and my favorite thing happened on a few of them which is […]

October 15, 2013

Back in Sac: Night 2

Tonight I said “I’m going to go to the Comedy Spot Scramble, sign up, eat at Azul, do a set, run around the perimeter of the downtown grid, get cleaned up, go to the Boxing Donkey, and then go back home.” What I ended up doing was signing up at the Scramble, eating at Azul, […]

October 14, 2013

Back in Sac: Night 1

I got back yesterday, but Sac doesn’t have Saturday open mics, and I didn’t have the balls or energy to try and get a guest set somewhere. Today I saw someone posted on facebook about me mentioning some drama in my blog. Then someone said a similar thing at the Comedy Spot tonight. I only […]