December 1, 2011

Sad Faces

This week has been pretty rough. My confidence is in a drain pipe. After the open mic misery of Monday, I felt like I got beat up in a fight. Tonight was slightly more fun, but not much.

First I went to Pepperbelly’s. I walked in and this really pretty lady was smiling at everyone, including me. Didn’t know why, but it didn’t matter; it felt good. Saw some old friends there, and the Automotive Respect guy, who was sober this time. He wanted to read my blog since I mentioned him on there before. I did my set with some new pieces for my waking up after a bad dream that I was on death row for mass murder. The crowd at Pepperbelly’s is usually all black, and I’m white. This lady pointed out how that was some white boy shit, and said I was white. I acknowledged it and said they were all black. They were. Some people are. After my set I got big hugs from two of the older black women there. So much love.

I was sad to go, but it was time to go to T2. I got there and Ruben didn’t look too happy. You could tell he wanted to go home, and now another comic showed up. Well, he put me up anyway. There are some regulars there that have learned not to mess around when I ask what they want to do, so they said laugh pretty quick. I told them my joke about how the Christmas tree tradition is backwards. We should plant fir seeds on Christmas. I did it because I wanted to try and get on the December 21st show at Tommy T’s, but, it’s not looking good. Then this dude started talking about Scooby Doo. I stopped telling jokes because I wanted to flush out the distractions. He said go back to my joke. I told him to quit bossing me around. Things got kind of serious. People said that he was the boss, so I wasn’t sure what that meant. He said if I didn’t do good, he wouldn’t let me get up there again. I thought it over pretty quick, and came to the conclusion that it was BS. He didn’t want me to help him with his heckling problem, so he kept trying to get me to go back to the jokes, but I wouldn’t do it. I did start to go back after he stopped talking for a bit, but I realize it was a mistake. I should have kept prodding him to get that heckle out. Can’t tell jokes when people have heckle inside. Then after my set the dude tried to get me to come over so he could give me some tips. I told him no I don’t need that, I know what I’m doing, but I was really talking to myself, trying to make myself believe it. I need that reinforcement, and if other people won’t give it me, I guess I have to.

Anyway, the sad faces title is about these people that I see at the open mics sometimes. I know they don’t care about me, and they don’t like or respect me. They think I should quit. They probably think I have a medical problem. They just sit there in the crowd watching my set with a sad face. It’s worse than any heckle, and I wish they would just go outside if they can’t have a good time. But, they’ll always be there, so I just have to get used to it I guess.